Thursday 18 September 2008

blackout in a train

blackout in a train

“Randall, do you have anything that you need to buy?” Mum was cutting up cucumbers for dinner. “Yeah, I need a pair of new sports shoes, size six,” Randall mumbled. “Randall, don’t talk to me like that and please go for fitting with me because this in cheap shoe sale some shoes have different diameter measurements,” Mum was annoyed that Randall was rude to her. Randall was furrowing her eyebrows to solve the complicating mathematics question in the practice paper, but was constantly distracted by her mother’s “Randall, do you want…” or “Randall, please help me…” Miss Tan had given the class a heuristics paper in which a mediocre in mathematics girl like Randall needs to focus completely to solve. Finally, she got fed up. “Alright, I’ll go…” She grunted.

“Where are we going to buy the shoes mother?” Randall popped a question. “We are going to get fabulous shoes from the cheap shoes store in Jalan Melayu,” Mum smiled. “She’s such a cheapskate,” Randall muttered under her breath, all her classmates in school have prepared fabulous sport shoes for the national track meet which the school was honored by having the permission to run on the tracks for a March pass. “Please do not leave any valuables on your seats, thank you and have a pleasant day,” The commentator announced when the MRT arrived at Jurong East station. Randall and her mother boarded the green line of the MRT tracks on the map to get to their destination.

The lights began to flicker on and off and the train came to a sudden halt. Randall was flung from her seat to a fat man licking and ice-cream cone and the top of the ice-cream melted off and fell on her. “Urgh…” Randall was disgusted as she flicked off the ice-cream on her head. She looked up and saw the fat man shooting eye-daggers at her. Randall looked away and thought to herself, “I didn’t do it on purpose, of course you won’t understand since you won’t be thrown out of your seat no matter what because of your size,” Randall giggled. The silence in the MRT train was broken when the train commentator announced, “Dear passengers, this train has halted because of oil on the oncoming tracks, as such, we will not be able to move until the cleaners clean up the road. Meanwhile, passengers on board need not panic, the emergency exit will not be opened because we are deep n a tunnel, a waiter will be serving you all water shortly,” the commentator ended her ‘speech’. Randall sighed, another hour wasted. Randall thought that if she had not came, she would have already finished the question and moved on to her next. The worst thing was, by the time she reached home, it would already be nine o’clock! And she has still got ten questions to go.

Just then, the lights went off. Randall shrieked in fright for she had a phobia of darkness. Mum hugged her tightly and comforted her as tears started rolling down her cheeks. She was afraid of the dark because she had once got lost in a dark alley and had to sleep there the whole night before the police could find her. Randall groped in the darkness, looking for her torch light which she had always brought with her everywhere she went. Just as she took out the torch light, the lights went on and the train was going again. Randall looked into the clear glass which showed her reflection as was horrified when she saw watery ice-cream all over her face. She turned red with embarrassment when people started laughing at her.

In the end, only one thing good came out, she had managed to get a Nike sport shoe but a second handed one, although she had only managed to reach home at ten. As for Randall, the horrifying experience made her swear never to take an MRT unless required, or else, she would always take a direct bus or taxi.

1 comment:

tsooc said...

Dear XY,

quite an interesting story. Keep experimenting to improve. Take note of the following to improve.

-Why was it Randall's fault when someone's ice-cream fall on her?

- There were no waiters on MRTs.

- An alley is a straight road, so quite hard to lose your way and spent the night there. Think of
another idea.

-Btw, what caused the blackout? Would another idea be more effective? eg technical failure where light went out and people have to evacuate the train. Can describe the thoughts, actions and feelings of the people in the train. More things to write on.
- Would she have cleaned up when she removed the ice-cream from her head?

Looking forward to your second draft.